There’s one.
An extremely precious one
Sparkling
Envied
Possessed
Locked up
Till eternity but not acknowledged
Nor remembered
Unless
To make a statement
Perhaps
Like an heirloom which stays
Forever
Is summoned occasionally.

There’s another.
Like that little piece of jewellery which everybody recognises
That favourite tee that always fits
That lipstick shade bought every two months
That hairstyle chosen for every occasion.

Isn’t there that kinda forever?
That’s the forever I want.

Remnants of an abandoned shadow
Desolated Deserted Deciphered
Haunting dark memories.
That itch, exactly where, nowhere.
The flight
Exactly where, nowhere.

Those loud loud noises
Voices from the heart
Amnesiac longings
Transversing on crests and troughs
Loss at both ends

And the gist
A hyperbole
A sigh.

And then we came closer
So close we could not see which is which
I went too far
Too far to realise
There was nothing in it for you
Just a distraction, a deviation perhaps.

And as you realise
No length of time would bring your steps back to me
No stretch of tears would make you stretch your arms for me.
My words too insincere
Not worthy of being dignified
My longings too frivolous
Not worthy of being considered.

What could you be looking for
Who knows how long how far
Would you come back
Why are we drifting apart
So apart we cannot see
When
Why
Where

And here I am
Alone
Afraid
Again
Backspace has the key to my mind
I have nothing new
Same stale statements
Old, already known questions
Exactly the same conclusions
Just regular things
Anxieties.
Repetitions.

Looking for ways to navigate this loneliness I come back to you
Back to you repeatedly.
The kohl cannot contain me
Just melts at your thought
Your words do not leave me
I hear just you, overwrought.

The precincts of my being are struggling
World shrinking eyes straining
It is taking away our bit
And altering the scheme of things.
Breathing on bits from possible sources
Living on reports of events already happened
Where am I?
Who?
Why?
You must have forgotten
You cannot be away.
You must have tried
You cannot be less occupied.
I see you smiling, faintly
I see you gliding, stealthily
I wish I could see you with me, occasionally
Here. Near.

This way is all a bit too flamboyant
I grant you to take me for granted
Just do it aesthetically a little more silently a little more deviously.

And yet…
A belief.
Undying.
This would slide.
Just another phase.
For I know
You are mine.

Caught in troubles I thought I shared perhaps,
I lost connect with the rest
Too momentous, outrightly consuming
Too trivial, outrightly rejected.

Lost in deciphering your reveries perhaps,
I found it wasn’t for me
Too distant, evidently symbolic
Too personal, evidently interfering.

Resolved to rediscover the self perhaps,
I arrived at a disturbed dream
Too embroiled, truly inescapable
Too absurd, truly unrealisable.